Perhaps understandably, when a person has little or no money they imagine what it must be like to have plenty of it. Considering that my own personal financial situation has the distinct look of poo on a spinning fan, I’ve caught myself imagining the prospect of wealth more and more.

I’ve never been a person driven for immense wealth. That just seems pointless to me. I know from personal experience (when I used to earn a substantial amount for my age while living at home) that no matter how much you have, you’ll still want more.

At that relatively affluent stage in my life I used to pay cash for $1100 cellphones, $500 car stereo systems, $600 trips across to Australia for the weekend etc. I even once paid $2200 in cash to have my car repainted. If a breakfast radio show offered me $100 for doing something simple I’d say no thanks and keep walking.

Now however things have changed. With a juicy mortgage and, well, let’s be honest, a less than desirable income, nowadays a real treat is simply a dinner at a restaurant – any restaurant.
If the same radio station approached me now I’d be the one jumping up and down with my hands waving about frantically.

While hard to imagine this financial struggle has come with benefits. For a start it’s made me realise just how much clutter and crap people buy into their lives, and how unnecessary almost all of it is.
During my last 8 months of virtual poverty I’ve learned to take a lot more pleasure in life’s simple things, such as a cup of coffee or a walk around the many local parks and lakes.

Believe me, my empty wallet hasn’t come around from a lack of effort. Far from it. I’m doing everything there is to generate income – from electric car tutorials to language courses. But still, the Gods of Cash, high up on their cloud refuse to throw thy bountiful dollar down to me.

So! As I’ve caught myself imagining what I’d do if I woke up and found $1000 ($700 US) in my wallet, I’ve finally written it down for the world to mock.

1: Donate half to local charities = $500
I have great respect for the SPCA and the work they do. I was lucky enough to have a tax refund of $600 last year, and the first thing I did was drive to the SPCA and gave10% of it to them.
I also feel that the Salvation Army deserves a decent slice, as they do a tremendous job in feeding and comforting the homeless and less fortunate. I know this donation would mean half of the money would be gone by now, but I’m certain that those two charities would put it to much better use than I ever could.

2: Buy a Swiss Army Knife = $100
Because they’re just so darn cool and I’ve wanted one for ages. My Dad used to have one when I was a kid and I was fascinated by all the cool things you could fit into one. Everything from a magnifying glass to a little compass. Even a toothpick and a pen! Too many times I’ve been fiddling with something outside or in the car and I needed a knife, or a little screwdriver. I recently saw a bunch of them on a stand at an outdoors supply shop and was mesmerized as they slowly spun around.

3: Take my wife out to dinner = $100
As mentioned further up, dinners are a rare and cherished thing in our household because for two entrees and two mains you’ll be paying around $80 in a typical New Zealand restaurant. For those of us on a budget it means it’s pumpkin soup night – every night. But, with the option of $100 to blow I’d even order us both a glass of wine!

4: Take a road trip = $200
One thing we greatly miss from our days of living in Australia was the ability to jump in the car and just drive. We had more money there, so we could afford to often spend a full day exploring the mountains or driving the coast, while stopping at craft stalls, cafes and restaurants.
New Zealand has the benefit of having much more to see in a smaller area, but sadly our situation means we only have enough gas to get to the local mall these days. We’d relish waking up in a romantic little Kiwi town, with the fresh morning air, the friendly locals, and mountains all around us. Bliss!

5: Turn on the spa pool for a month = $100
By using a cool plug-in meter, I’ve worked out that our little 4-person hot tub costs $10.20 to fill up, and around $3 a day to run. Sadly this means that for most of the year we have a large, quadrangular paperweight sitting out the back of the house. It also doubles as an ideal place for us to store our baby mosquitoes as the little angels prepare for dinner.
Being July, we’re now halfway through winter, yet we only turned the tub on one week ago – and only because we’ll have guests staying in 3 days. Once they’re gone it’s being turned off again. Sniff.
It’s a real shame because Veronika and I both absolutely love that spa pool. Especially on cool, calm nights, serenaded by a blanket of stars, satellites, and shooting stars with pockets of steam swirling towards it all. Ahhh.

But for now, we must carry on. Working hard, striving, and fighting – determined to make this work-from-home dream come true. We have hope and determination that one day things will work out. And if it doesn’t, then at the very least the lottery gets drawn tomorrow night. Hey, you never know!

Thankfully it never came to this.

I began this experiment on Sunday a week ago at 6:30pm, in a bid to figure out what was the appeal – if there indeed was one – to being a vegan. I tell a lie – the actual reason behind the experiment was just good old fashioned boredom, but that’s just between you, me, and the Internet.

Admittedly I found it difficult at first, not only trying to find substitutes for milk, but also having to check the ingredients of everything I’d normally eat without thinking, such as bread, sandwich toppings, sauces and canned goods. You’d be surprised just where dairy and egg products actually end up!

There were a few things I had trouble adjusting to, such as avoiding milk. Not just because soy had an acquired taste (which I started to enjoy near the end of the experiment), but because I couldn’t find anything wrong with the idea of milking a cow. As far as I could tell, cows don’t mind it in the slightest. In fact, one former dairy farmer I spoke to said the cows seem to enjoy it.

Another issue I had was with not being able to eat honey. This is because vegans are opposed to animal produce and the labouring/slaughtering of animals for human convenience. After seeing caged hens and slaughterhouse videos I can understand this point quite well.
I couldn’t figure out the honey boycott however. Perhaps it allows the overworked “worker” bees to go off and do their own thing, such as open casinos or write poetry?

Those two oddball things aside, the rest of the experience was enjoyable, with it actually becoming quite good fun in the last two days as I got into the swing of things. Additionally, I couldn’t help but notice that my skin was healthier than when I started too. I put that down to the extra walnuts, almonds and Brazil nuts I’d been eating (I’ll keep that up for sure!).

I know this might sound a little health-freakish, but I have to admit I developed a new taste for fruit and vegetables during my stint. I’d never really appreciated how tasty local market apples were. I even invented my own coconut-curry stuffed tomato recipe.

While at the end of the experiment I didn’t feel any different physically, I did feel better about myself mentally – knowing that for one week I wasn’t involved in the animal slaughter industry. It meant giving up wearing leather for a week (goodbye to my favourite jacket and watch) but I soon got used to wearing other clothes and checking the time on my mobile phone instead.

During my veganism research I also learned a lot about just how much junk is in our food, and how easy it was to avoid it and have healthier meals at the same time.
And while veganism isn’t ideal for me at the moment, by doing it for just seven days I gained a whole new level of respect for vegans and vegetarians, and the many reasons behind their decisions.

For those who are interested, I made a short, fun video about the highs and lows of my seven day veganism right here. Good for a laugh if nothing else!

Auckland’s (New Zealand) effort at eco-friendly public transport has been scrapped, with the announcement that their fleet of three diesel hybrid buses have been taken off the road.

The buses were naively announced as the “future of inner-city public transport” but being a complicated hybrid dual-drivetrain system they (unsurprisingly) broke down repeatedly and have now been replaced with good(?) old 20th century technology “dino juice” diesel buses.

Each hybrid paperweight cost $560,000 – twice the price of a new diesel bus. Auckland ratepayers have met the bulk of that cost too, with the Auckland Regional Transport Authority paying $786,000 a year, Auckland City Council $40,000, and the Heart of the City business association chipping in.

Two of the three buses lie idle at the Westhaven depot of contractor NZBus. Heart of the City chief executive Alex Swney said the situation was “disappointing” and the association was reviewing the service.

“We have a reliability issue with some of these buses,” he said. “We’ve discovered, along the way, it doesn’t seem to be as durable as tried-and-true diesel.”

Because the bus route wasn’t a long one, I can’t help but wonder why they didn’t just build all-electric buses with LiFePO4 battery packs. I’ve previously priced full conversions of very large vehicles to electric-only with off-the-shelf components, so I know for a fact it could be done for under $110,000 per vehicle.

Not only would Aucklanders be better off financially, but the vehicles would have been more reliable, and much cleaner than the expensive diesel-hybrid experiment.

Therefore in a moment of lucidity, I’m going to offer my services to professionally convert one of their existing dead hybrid buses to 100% electric with a range of at least 50 kilometres per quick charge. That’s a better all-electric range than Seoul’s new electric buses can offer, and at a lower build price too.

50km is enough for several city loops before needing a quick 1 to 2 hour recharge. God knows it’ll cost a lot less than the diesel disasters currently at loose on the roads – both economically and ecologically. Just think… NZBus could be world leaders.

I admit it, I have a “man crush” on Edward Woodward. He’s just so damn cool that it’s simply impossible not to be impressed.

To those of you who don’t know who he is – I’m sorry, I just can’t help you. You’re clearly lost in a world of Lady Gargar and Kayne West with no hope of rescue. Just stop reading now and go hang out at the mall, mkay?

The rest of you however will no doubt remember a time (not long ago I should add) where acting was even more important than good looks. Mr Woodward was lucky however: he had both.

That was a different time, made of different standards which have since faded out throughout the 80’s and 90’s.
‘Twas a time where people weren’t voted out of kitchens, houses, or off islands.
A time when actors relied on more than simple one liners and make-up-for-it crash-bang-whiz cinematography. It was a world where only the best actors stood out, and it was a world where Edward Woodward was the king.

I offer my condolences to the likes of Matt Damon, Johnny Depp, and Keanu Reeves. Technically, they too are categorized as actors, but they simply can’t hold a candle to the legend that is Edward Woodward.
Any of those lads mentioned above would have to spend twenty minutes verbally vomiting into a boom microphone – just to convey half the sentiment of one of Woodward’s short, meaningful glances.

Sadly, the man famous for being able to deliver intricate, three-dimensional characters to that box in your living room passed away last year. The world is at a loss, and we are fast running out of real actors.

In order to celebrate the man who brought shows like Callan, The Equalizer, and (the lesser known, but stunningly written) “1990” to life, I propose July 5 will now be Edward Woodward Day.

This day gives you the chance to proudly display your high viewing standards, by imitating one of his many awesome roles. Perhaps you could act like the overwhelmed policeman-turned-sacrificial offering from The Wicker Man. Maybe you’d prefer to take on the rightfully righteous role from Breaker Morant.

Or better yet, why not just spend the day watching what real acting is by hiring out a couple of his best movies or TV shows. Start with Callan and perhaps finish with the sci-fi show Crusade (though be warned; he has a minor role).

During intermission, why have a listen to one of his twelve recorded studio albums (he just happened to be a talented tenor as well), or concentrate on his detailed vocal acting throughout one of his four audio books.

I must warn you though, watching the genius that is Edward Woodward will have it’s consequences.
Once you get a taste for what real acting is, the usual tripe spewed into the airwaves each day simply won’t be good enough and your TV will become a dust catcher – just like ours.

See you on July the 5th.

It also makes a great replacement for cocaine!

You can now throw out the plethora of brightly colored bottles in your kitchen and laundry, as good old baking soda can replace them all – as well as perform a few other neat tricks.

Baking soda is a simple inexpensive substance found on grocery shelves and in many kitchens, most commonly known for it’s ability to make cakes and cookies rise when cooking.
Some of you might also know it’s a “miracle” cleaner. Mix it with water and wipe down bench tops, cupboards, carpet stains, toilets, floors – you name it, it cleans it.

You can also use it to deodorize fridges, and if you really want to make it a hardcore cleaner – add some white vinegar to it. Goodby grease – naturally.

Now the word “Natural” is so overused lately it makes no impact anymore, but baking soda really is natural: It comes straight out of the ground. Naturally (pun intended) this means it’s chemical-free and has no smell. It also won’t irritate your skin or play havoc with your sinuses.

During the first half of the last Century baking soda was also prescribed for flus, colds and other common problems due to it’s high pH level. However after a while it’s popularity reduced with the advancement of modern medicines.
Ironically, many of those older medicines simply don’t work anymore as viruses have evolved over time and have become more complex. For example, Penicillin is practically useless on today’s bugs & infections.

But baking soda (not baking powder, that’s a whole different thing) is making a comeback for a whole new reason: Some doctors have begun using it to aid in fighting cancer.

Dr Mark Sircus has administered baking soda to his patients both orally and intravenously, while another doctor in Rome has been injecting baking soda directly into cancerous tumors. Both of them have had a lot of success with their cancer patients too.

Both yeast infections and cancer cells seem to be destroyed with baking soda because of – you guessed it – it’s high pH value. This causes tumors and fungi to oxygenate and die as they simply can’t survive in high pH or high oxygen level environments.

This means (believe it or not) it’s a great underarm deodorant and costs next to nothing. It’s also a great shaving aid as well as a superb toothpaste – and it’s even perfect for adding into your next load of laundry – as well as cleaning the grout in tiles. The uses just go on and on!

So there you have it. When your collection of chemical-laden cleaners is all used up, forget buying more. Go to the baking aisle and stock up on baking soda instead. Your body (and home) will be glad you did.